Do you have a hard time motivating your children to do what you want them to do? I do. What do you bribe them with? When they were little it was candy or small things. These days my kids want cash. Well I guess that's not true. They want toys that cost money or cash. :) Whichever works to their advantage.
Jack is 10 and in 5th grade this year. He was supposed to learn his multiplication tables last year. Last year was a very rough year. This year he has an amazing teacher and I'm very hopeful. The only problem is that he still doesn't know those times tables like he should. I've tried playing all sorts of games and just doing flash cards with him, that is when I can convince him he has to do it. So last night I had a little thought. Hmmm. Grammy paid Jack $13 for memorizing the 13 articles of faith from church. What if I pay him a dollar of each times tables set he has memorized,he's supposed to have to 12. He really loved it when Grammy did it so he should be just as excited right?
I presented him the idea this morning and he said it sounded good. I told him he could have money or a toy. He said he'd rather have Lego's. I think he's afraid he won't get much for his work if he takes the cash. I'm hoping he'll be motivated to do this.
Now we've tried paying him for things in the past. I want my kids to learn piano but Mike doesn't want to pay anyone to teach them. We worked out a deal last year with Jack when he wanted to earn money. He could take piano lesson from Mike. The deal was $1.00 per lesson, one lesson per week. $.25 per 15 min. practice. That's $9 a month if he practices for 5 days a week. I thought it was a great way to earn some money and easy too. Hasn't worked out so well. David on the other hand has now started and is going to surpass Jack any minute, I think he already has.
So my question to anyone who actually still checks my blog is, what do you do to motivate your kids? Is it right to pay them for things you already expect them to do? Now that I will be paying Jack for memorizing his times tables I'll have to do the same for David and Sam when they probably would have done it just because that's what they are supposed to do. Tips? Anyone?
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5 comments:
Score on not taking the money...that's 144 bucks!
I'm not there yet. Connor doesn't have a choice what he does! The saying, cause I'm the mom still works around here! Lol
For doing extra chores (something that actually requires some effort), the boys have the option of 25 cents or a piece of gum. Most of the time they will take the gum.
Eh, you won't necessarily have to pay the other two, I mean you older kids had an allowance and I never did and I still did the stuff I was supposed to for the most part. I say go with what works for you, I don't really have much experience with older kids.
Hi Mary! I am Mike's friend Liz. I have to admit I am a lurker! I love seeing what your family is up to. I hope you don't mind. I don't think that it is bad that you are giving Jack an incentive. Times tables are tricky. But I don't think that you should feel that you have to give them all the same incentive. They all have different "currencies". They are all motivated in different ways. Wait and see what David and Sam are motivated by before you offer the same deal. Have you tried http://www.khanacademy.org/ ? My 9 year old Daniel goes crazy for it. Kids and their computer games! It might help. And as for the piano thing, I do remember Mike not liking to practice or go to lessons. It must be hard to do it with Dad. But Dad has to make it a priority too. Hope it helps a little. Liz
1.Personal priesthood interviews. Joe has recently started doing this and it has worked miracles with my kids! They have an interview every fast Sunday and the kids can talk about whatever they want and then Joe asks them to set one goal. It's great! What my kids want is TIME. I feel like we give it to them already but they still crave even more. (They still go for silly bandz and stickers too, though!)
2.I'm reading a book called A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver Van DeMille and he proposes that the role of a Mentor/Teacher/Parent is to inspire their children to become great by becoming great. So If you wanted Jack to learn the Piano, you too would take lessons from Mike. He would see you practice, struggle, dedicate time and energy, persevere,and ultimately progress. It brings an attitude of humility to the teacher,and follows the pattern that Christ taught when he said, "Come follow me." They suggest keeping a journal and having frequent conversation together about the meaning of your experience as well. That's the toughest regime I've ever heard of for a teacher! 3.If teaching him the piano is a skill that is -upper important that he know how to play 3 songs before he leaves on his mission (or whatever) Help him see the purpose of the long term goal (to be a useful adult)and attach privileges to effort. (The Parenting Breakthrough by Merilee Boyack)
I have to laugh at myself a little bit because I have my own HEAP of problems- maybe YOU can help me with those!!!
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