Motherhood

I love being a mom, I truly do but the truth is that it isn't always a picnic.  It definitely changes as they grow but there are those days . . .

Years ago a dear friend of mine was upset that her 4 year old daughter said "I hate you" to her.   I remember her saying "I know she's only 4 and she doesn't mean it but it still hurts my feelings"  I think we know to expect these types of things as parents but when they actually happen we are taken back a bit.

Lately I've been feeling like I don't DO much with my kids anymore.  No more mustache days and trips to the library (well sometimes we still all go to the library), no more helping me make play dough and playing it with them.  Instead of going to the park and playing with them I just send them and tell them when to come home.  Sure I poke my head out the door to check on them but they are growing up and don't NEED me there every second anymore.  Things are just different and yes, I know this is supposed to happen.  Thankfully they don't need us to wipe their noses or butts for the rest of their lives.

So as I was thinking about what we used to do I asked my son "what do you like to do with me?",  he didn't even really pause but said in a fairly plain voice "Nothing".  OUCH!  My heart hurt.  I was a bit shocked, I turned back to my chores in the kitchen and had to choke back the tears.  Sure maybe he was a bit grumpy, I did just tell him no video games but "NOTHING"!

The thing is I know he's still a kid, learning about the world and himself, heck it is a lifetime process.  I know I'm the parent and I KNOW kids will say and do things that we don't like but today it just hurt my feelings.

So this brought my thoughts to my own mother of course.  Bless her heart, there are six of us.  We must have said and done things to hurt her feelings many times but do you know what?  My wonderful Mother never tells me about how bratty or rude I was.  When I talk to her she always says things that make me feel good about myself and how I'm doing as a mom.  How is it that she can still do that?  I'm sure I probably still say stupid things that may hurt her feelings, though I hope not.  I'm so grateful for a Mom who can see past those not wonderful parts of me and still love me for who I am and continues to encourage me.