3rd grade

So I've noticed a trend in my third grader. Every Sunday night he gets very very sad. He doesn't feel loved and he HATES school. Have I ever mentioned that he hates school before? Well he does, a lot. Anyway I was thinking on this event and I suddenly remembered that I myself hated 3rd grade. Indeed it was quite tortuous to go. We had moved to Ohio and I thought it was because I was new but now I believe that perhaps one is destined to hate third grade.

What I remember, it was winter when we moved there and my teacher didn't like to turn on the lights. This was a bit weird but she always wore very dark brown or black and had dark brown nail polish. This convinced me that she was a witch. (remember this was before people really got crazy with the colored nail polish). I also remember every time we went out for recess that I felt blinded by the snow because I spent all day in a dark dungeon with a witch.

I also was a bit behind in school as I had a learning disability and had already failed the 1st grade so my confidence wasn't much. And if my sob story isn't bad enough I was a tubby kid and got teased. In fact I recall going to class (no friends) and sitting down after having missed a day of school and some kid started singing "Chunky's back and she's getting even fatter, hey la chunky's back" Ouch that really hurt. You should have tears in your eyes by now. If not pinch yourself.

So my kind loving mother let me stay home a few Mondays. I think she just felt bad for me. I'd cry and throw fits about going to school. Then one day my older brother gave me one of the greatest tips he's ever given me in my life. He told me that the best way to get mom to believe you are sick is to fake Diarrhea. Not only would mom never send us with the risk of crapping our pants and having to come pick us up (we were a one car family at this point, lime green Volkswagen van) but she loved writing out diarrhea because she said most people spelled it wrong and so the teacher would always know our ailment the following day. Who can argue with Diarrhea. I conveniently had diarrhea every Monday for a very long time. I'm pretty sure my mom had me figured out after the first few attempts yet she still let it slide for a while.

My tale is sorrowful no doubt and yet tomorrow will come and I will indeed put my third grader on the bus. As much as he hates school I believe he will hate make up work more. Plus I let him go with me to his brother's appointment last week and we never made it to school since it took so long. He got a freebie anyway.

If I were a modern girl I would insert here a photo of my third grade chubbiness but I don't know how to scan it in so you'll have to imagine what I looked like. My Mother still loved me.