Surprise

Today I surprised myself. As my original due date approaches (Feb. 23), I have been worried that I am going to be an emotional wreck. I had a nice little crying moment last week but today I surprised myself. David's primary teacher recently had a baby girl. I was talking with her ( I don't really know her yet) and I asked if I could hold her baby. I'm not one to ask to hold everyone's babies and in fact it's been something I have avoided recently. I don't know what came over me but I wanted to hold the baby and then I even told her that when we moved here I was pregnant but lost the baby and that the due date was coming up. I said it all with a smile and didn't even get emotional. I really didn't feel overwhelming sadness. I would say most of the ward doesn't know I was pregnant when we got here, just a handful. Maybe it's just easier to say now. I was happy to know I could hold a new baby and be happy for this woman to have such a wonderful little person to love and care for and not feel sad about my own loss. Life is good and my teenagers were fairly well behaved today. :) Feeling pretty good.